Not one to rest on his laurels, Mel Gibson has come up with an aggressive production strategy that will involve millions of his dollars and years of moviemaking. When Gibson made 'The Passion of the Christ', the Pope was given a sneak preview. After viewing it, the Pope said "It is as it was", making a statement about the historical accuracy of the film. Equally accurate was the Pope's Vatican theatre experience, as insiders saw him chewing on Junior Mints, mouthing handfuls of buttered popcorn and throwing Jujubes at the screen when scenes featuring Judas Iscariot and the devil appeared.
Taking the Pope's monosyllabic review as inspiration, Gibson has already planned and hired for films he will begin shooting later this year. Films that, like "The Passion…", 'will be as they were'.
Gibson will begin filming "The Flood of the Noah" this July in a specially constructed soundstage outside of Los Angeles. The soundstage, when finished, will be the largest movie set of it's kind at a staggering eight square miles of inside footage. The structure will be eighty feet tall and will house what Gibson is calling "the big bad ark". Actor James Cromwell has been hired to play the famed zoologist/skipper because Gibson liked his ability to act with animals in the film 'Babe'. To make the movie 'as it was', scenes will depict Cromwell throwing handfuls of moose and lion feces over the side of the ark. It is not known whether Gibson will actually drown the team of extras who will be playing the disobedient sinner types, at this time.
Gibson has also planned a movie for October called 'The Cafeteria of the Cook' which will be based on the life of little known kitchen worker Chicken Fat Sally. Playing Sally will be Kathy Bates and co-stars will be fed rancid chicken meat in an effort to make their sickness 'as it was'. Gibson says he is a fan of method acting but says there is nothing like real food poisoning to make a fan believe someone onscreen does, in fact, have food poisoning.
2005 will begin with Gibson back in Italy doing another biblical epic called 'The Creation of the Man', which will be his most controversial and expensive picture yet. The special effects alone as God creates Adam and again as he removes a rib to create Eve are estimated to cost so much that a team of mathematicians has been hired to invent a word for the number. (Equally high will be product tie ins). Cameron Diaz, originally slated to play Eve opposite Johnny Depp's Adam, backed out when she was informed that the picture would feature full frontal and rear nudity and real live intercourse between the world's first couple. Additionally, scenes are expected of animals mating. Originally, Gibson had planned to have the snake (Satan) movie via computer animation and the vocal talents of Samuel L Jackson were expected. However in an effort to keep it 'as it was', Gibson has hired a snake whisperer who will actually teach the serpent to speak. (If he is unable, Gibson is 'kicking around the idea of having Eve speak snake language'). No Eve has been hired yet, but Selma Hayek and supermodel Tyra Banks are said to be contenders.
Finally, in September of 2005, Gibson finishes his 'is at it was' film anthology by producing 'The Rise of the Hated One', a film based on the life of Pol Pot. Gibson plans on using real Cambodians and, although he will not allow the actors playing the Khmer Rouge to shoot or injure them, he said they 'better play dead real good'. Additionally, Gibson has already ordered the production of 95,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000 gallons of fake blood to be used with 'The Rise…'.
